Embrace the 'Ego'
Just like Vajrayana, the highest practice is non-rejecting. Even though we see the ego structure is the root of all our suffering, we don’t reject it. Instead we want to embrace it with a loving, accepting attitude. And once we become aware of it and give it some loving attention, it begins to undo itself.
Letter for Sojong 04/15 from Anam Thubten
Dear dharma friends,
There’s a point where we feel that we want to cut through the very root of our unenlightened way of living. And this brings us to really study our own ego structure. The ancient masters in the old traditions say that the key to freedom is knowing oneself. We may not be able to go to our true nature that is intrinsically wholesome and perfect without first knowing our own very ordinary human ego structure.
It would be nice if we could go to our true nature on the fastest trajectory without having to examine our own pain and harmful tendencies. If such a path existed it would be like going from one royal palace to another royal palace on flower strewn pathways. And yet there is a process for everything in this existence. The flower has to grow from soil rather than blossoming miraculously from the empty sky. A butterfly must go through metamorphosis to gain its beautiful wings. Sometimes spiritual metamorphosis can be discomforting like that as well.
In general the ego is very much the foundation of our sense of who we are in this life. So it is most important to study it in order to know yourself. In doing so we begin to see all the tricks and games ego plays and we also see that when we are unaware of these things, we are often caught up in hope and fear, ideas and opinions, and emotions so that suffering is perpetuated for no good reason.
In the beginning ego develops naturally in a very innocent fashion at an early age. And as time goes by, the ego turns into this very complex and entangled structure with innumerable causes and conditions that are introduced by our outer environment. Then every time outer circumstances trigger our ego it becomes more and more solid. And some of the ego structures are hard to identify because they are not very painful.
We know for example that fear and hatred are part of the ego structure because they are so painful. But many of ego’s components are very subtle because they are not painful in the immediate sense, for example our personal belief systems about politics, and either worldly or divine affairs, as well as our strong preferences, likes and dislikes, and attractions and aversions.
Just like Vajrayana, the highest practice is non-rejecting. Even though we see the ego structure is the root of all our suffering, we don’t reject it. Instead we want to embrace it with a loving, accepting attitude. And once we become aware of it and give it some loving attention, it begins to undo itself. And its sign of undoing is that we become more and more spacious and peaceful inside, and we can feel that our mind and heart are big enough to hold anything.
Personally I feel that as a fellowship we are ready to work on this topic. During this upcoming Sojong you might like to hold a strong intention to take this into your heart and remember this teaching in everyday life.
With palms joined, Anam Thubten