Surrender to "What Is"
Sojong Reminder from Anam Thubten 3/2021
Dear Dharma friends,
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In ancient writings, the image of an ocean filled with wild waves is used to describe the state of the human mind. These wild waves and storms can represent our thoughts and emotions. This image is quite plausible and relatable because when our mind is disturbed and in conflict, it resembles a turbulent ocean. Whereas when we experience inner calmness, we often have a feeling of being at peace, that life is benevolent, and everything is going well. But the moment we lose that calmness, there is the feeling of conflict in our life. Either the power of our emotions has taken over, or some particular condition has thrown us off balance. Sometimes it takes great adversities to disturb our equilibrium. At other times, even the tiniest conditions can throw us off. Indeed, it can happen to any of us; it is part of being human in this world.
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Being at the mercy of either our internal issues, or external conditions, can cause much conflict and pain in our life. Regardless of whether we consider ourselves Buddhist, spiritual, or secular, it is essential for us to learn how to stay calm in all situations. This is one of the best skills human beings can learn. It will definitely help us find more happiness, as well as to be able to respond much more wisely to people and to the world.
When we are internally challenged, we may do and say things that we don’t mean, or we react out of proportion to the situation. There’s not just one, but many different ways to learn how to stay calm. Often just staying in awareness, especially when powerful emotions or thoughts rage, is the best way to stay calm. Through awareness, we can remain calm while we witness the raging storms in our internal ocean. Just as we remain a witness in meditation, we might like to remind ourselves to be a witness in dealing with our thoughts and emotions off of the cushion as well. That alone can help us to feel less conflicted.
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Even minor circumstances can cause us to lose our inner peace. There are hundreds of examples of times when the smallest thing can make us feel very contracted inside. Likewise, there are sometimes conditions that are quite difficult to bear for any of us. How can we find calm in the middle of such adversities? One of the most effective ways to stay calm and not lose equilibrium is through inner surrender. This is the realization that we are not in absolute control over life. The only thing we can do in the end is surrender to “what is”. We could just go with the flow and not fall into the trap of believing that we are in charge.
There are many unknowns in our life. We don’t know what particular things will happen to us, and we can’t really control things in a way that fully meets our desires and expectations. Therefore, we have to learn how to surrender to the unknown. We could realize that while there may be something we can do to change our situation when adversity arises, in the end, we can’t control everything because adversities are the play of the great unknown.
Our ability to surrender can bring so much freedom to our lives. With surrender comes the realization that what goes on in life is not always about us. We often try to squeeze everything into a narrow frame of reference, believing that “this” or “that” should not be happening to us. We tend to see the whole of life through the eye of ego. One of my friends once told me that whenever she comes across something difficult, she uses the aphorism, “It’s not all about me” and that gives her some relief.
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Let me invite everybody to join the sojong with our sangha on the 15th of this month. This will be a time for us to reflect and hold the intention to remember to use this teaching in our lives.
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With palms joined,
Anam Thubten
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