We're Still Human

If there were no challenges, there wouldn’t be a path in the first place. Internal challenges are an integral part of the path. It’s not so much that they’re innately problematic; it’s more about what we do with them. They can be embraced as a door to self-knowledge.

Sojong Reminder from Anam Thubten

Dear Dharma Friends,

As we become more and more spiritual beings, there is a conscience that develops in each of us that observes the movement of our consciousness. Sometimes our consciousness ascends. When this happens, we often feel good about ourselves. At other times our consciousness descends, we don’t feel good, and we can even be quite harsh on ourselves with moral judgment. We tend to tell ourselves that we should not be having such mundane thoughts and emotions and that we should be living in higher states of consciousness all the time. This kind of self-judgment often occurs to those who have been walking the path for quite a long time. One might say to oneself, “It’s embarrassing to have fear after practicing dharma for decades… I should be way more evolved then this.”

Having a moment, or even a long period of "relapse" is natural. It’s not by any means an indication that we’re going backward. As human beings with old karmic patterns, episodes of what seem like relapses will continue to occur. If it’s happening right now, this certainly will not be the last time. There will be more of these as time goes by. Being prepared will prevent us from falling prey to disappointment with our inner progress. We need to learn to totally embrace our humanness with an openhearted attitude and accept wherever we are in the moment. Such openness will allow us to engage with true awareness instead of running away from dharma practice because it makes us feel judgmental towards ourselves. We need to be aware of the subtle pitfall of judging oneself along the path.

If there were no challenges, there wouldn’t be a path in the first place. Internal challenges are an integral part of the path. It’s not so much that they’re innately problematic; it’s more about what we do with them. They can be embraced as a door to self-knowledge. The very occurrence of these challenges can be a rich opportunity to see right through them. We can then more firmly anchor our identity to that which witnesses rather than the thoughts, emotions, and sensations that continually pass through us.

By not giving up on our dharma practice, we gradually become quite familiar with our own patterns. We come to know the challenges that arise and what triggers them. With such intimate insight into our own psycho-karmic makeup, these patterns might not completely go away, but their grip on us will loosen. This can be quite liberating to witness. This is what they call siddhi, the inner attainment in the Tantric tradition.

During the upcoming Sojong, let me invite you all to view how you have been living within, to recognize times of falling into karmic patterns, and to vow to cultivate awareness. This is also a time to let go of the habit of self-judgment and to hold a wise and loving attitude toward yourself.

With palms joined, Anam Thubten

阿南渡登自逺方捎來的叮嚀 供十一月十五日之八關齌戒日觀照修持

親愛的佛友們，

當我們變得越有靈性時，有一種于内在開展的良心感知，在探視我們意識層面的波動。

有時候，我們的良心感知會上揚，這個時候，我們往往會自我感覺良好。

而在另一些時候，當我們的良心感知往下消沉的時候，我們就會感覺糟透，用一種道德規范，嚴勵譴責自己。

我們往往會告訴自己不應該起心動念，不該擁有情緒，我們應該時時刻刻處在高度的意識當中。

類似的自我批判常常發生在修行了一段長時間的人身上。他們會對自己説 : "修行了這麽長的時間，心依然存有恐懼，譲人感到尴尬, 我應當更進步才對。"

一時的重復犯錯，乃至長時間，慣性的重蹈覆辙，是一種自然的現象。它絲毫都不意謂我們在退步。身為擁有業力和習氣的人類，我們都會一再犯錯。如果它發生過一次，那這一次肯定不會是最後一次。

跟随著時間，它們將會無數次的一再重演。如果對此有足夠的心理準備，就能夠避免我們對于自己内心的成長，感到悲傷和失望。我們必須以開放的態度，不論在何時何地，學習完全接受及包容我們的人性。

這樣的寛容，能夠讓我們持續保任覺知，不會因為自我批判而放弃修行。我們必須覺知自我批判，在修行的道路上所隐带的一股阻力。

如果没有挑戰，那一間始，就不該有修行的道路。内心的挑戰即是修道上本該有的一部份r。關键不在于問題本身，更重要的是我們如何去面對它們。

它們可以被看作是認識自己的一扇門。挑戰和問題重復的發生，提供了譲我們徹底看破它們的良好機缘。

只要不放弃修行佛法，我們就會逐漸熟悉和認知自己的習性。我們就會理解問题的出現和它們的起因。我們在深入熟知我們内在的心理狀態和業力模式之際，這些習氣或許不會馬上完全被消除; 可是它們對我們的牽制會愈見無力。這可以是一種解脱的見證。在密續教法的傳承中，他們把這稱為siddhi(悉地）, 也就是内心的成就。

在即將來臨的八關齋戒日，譲我邀請大家去觀照自己的内心，去認出自己掉入業力漩渦的次數，以及發願要培養覺知。藉此，也譲我們放下自我批判的習慣，以智慧和愛心去對待自己。